A Fine Romance

A fine romance, with no kisses A fine romance, my friend this is We should be like a Couple of hot tomatoes But you're as cold as Yesterday's mashed potatoes A fine romance, you won't nestle A fine romance, you won't wrestle I might as well play bridge With my old maid aunt I haven't got a chance This is a fine romance Yes a fine romance, with no kisses A fine romance, my friend this is We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder But we just fizz like parts of seidlitz powder Yes a fine romance, with no glitches A fine romance, with no glitches Just as hard to land as the "Isle de France" I haven't got a chance This is a fine romance A fine romance, my good fellow You take romance, an' I'll take jello You're calmer than the seals In the Arctic Ocean At least they flap their fins To express emotion A fine romance with no quarrels With no insults and all morals I've never mussed the crease In your blue serge pants I never get the chance This is a fine romance Yes, a fine romance, my dear judges Two old fogies who need crutches True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime does Oh we don't have the thrills the march of time has A fine romance, my good woman My strong aged in the wood, woman You never give the orchids I sent a chance No you like cactus plants This is a fine romance A fine romance, my dear duchess Two old fogies who need crutches True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has You know Louie we don't have half the thrills That the march of time has You're telling me Fine romance, my very good woman My strong aged in the wood woman You never give the orchids I sent a glance No I prefer cactus plants This is a fine romance