Fifty

Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50 Some say I'm old as fuck Still sippin' Jim Beam whiskey 'Cause goddamn pandemic suck I guess I'm fuckin' 50 No need to look it up Well, I might be fuckin' 50 But I still don't give one fuck Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50 But I'm still standin' tall Even though I can't hear shit I can't see and I'm goin' bald I guess I'm fuckin' 50 But I'm better off than you Well, I might be fuckin' 50 But your mom still thinks I'm cool, whoo! Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50 I'm through drinkin' and blackin' out No more talkin' shit about Oprah Or fightin' at the Waffle House I guess I'm fuckin' 50 A far cry from 17 Well, I might be fuckin' 50 But this dick's still long and lean Alright Aw, shit Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50 No more groupies o-on the bus (I gotta chill) I don't hang much more with outlaws I spend more time at Toys R Us I guess I'm fuckin' 50 But that's okay with me I still rock like a chair, middle finger in the air With my granddaughter on my knee Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50 And as I stare down 51 I got a million crazy stories And can't remember fuckin' one I guess I'm fuckin' 50 But I still love to dance Yeah, I might be fuckin' 50, ooh-ooh (Oh, God Almighty Bob, Jesus, whoo!) I think I just shit my pants Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50 Oh, gettin' old really sucks Strippers used to kiss me Nowadays it costs 20 bucks I guess I'm fuckin' 50 But I still ain't no lame duck And if the critics still don't dig me, fuck 'em They can get these nuts, yeehaw! Yee!